Tag: Stigma

5 Myths Of Happiness- And Why They’re Harmful

It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you’re doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It’s what you think about it.

Dale Carnegie

Whether you’re happy, content, thriving and loving life, or miserable, unsatisfied and hating everything that life entails, I think it’s fair for me to say that we all have a rough idea of what certain things we think would bring us to a better place emotionally. Now even if this is true, however, it is extremely important that we acknowledge and tackle a number of myths that could be leading people to seek happiness in the wrong ways. After all, prior to reading and understanding considerable information on this subject, I was guilty of believing these stereotypes myself.

Happiness means you cannot feel sad, bad or pissed off.

In much the same way that suffering depression doesn’t mean you can’t experience happy, positive emotions, being a happy person doesn’t make you exempt from difficult, challenging times. No matter your situation and where you lay on the ‘happy-sad scale’, you will experience some great highs and probably very low lows. That’s part and parcel of life. The only thing we can do is learn how to cope and be resilient in the face of adversity, all while not becoming too overjoyed or complacent when something good happens. And if you’re in the extremely fortunate position to be in a great place, it’s important to remind yourself that a bad day doesn’t make a bad life. It’s perfectly natural to feel a bit shit sometimes!

Getting that house, that money, that car will be your route to true happiness.

No matter how much the media or people online try to ram down our throats luxury living and the idea that material objects will solve all bad, I promise you it’s simply not true. It’s all an illusion. Just look at the evidence. If happiness was defined by financial wealth, status, fame, assets or the amount of cars on the driveway, why are the Elon Musks, Jeff Bezos’ and Bill Gates of this world not the jolliest, most content people on the planet? Or conversely, why are the poorest, most disadvantaged people not always the most unhappy? I’ll tell you why. Because achieving a state of happiness depends on way more than the cash in your bank account or that massive house you may be living in. Without the ability to love yourself, the activities you partake in and the people you surround yourself with on a daily basis, it’s nigh on impossible to feel happy. Now it’s all well and good for me to say this on here, therefore we need to be teaching kids this as well! Early intervention, I believe…

A change of scenery means automatic change of fortune.

While it is undeniably true that altering your surroundings and travelling to places you’ve never previously explored can free up the mind and broaden your horizons, the reality is that the effects of such scenery changes are short-lived. It’s not a sustainable solution. If you’re hoping that ‘escaping’ from your usual surroundings is the ‘magic bullet’ you’ve been waiting for, you’d be rudely mistaken. Without taking the necessary steps and discipline (this is the extremely key word) to address recurring toxic, debilitating thoughts and build consistent positive habits, you’re likely to be left feeling lost, unfulfilled and seeking happiness in your external environment. Trust me I know. Every self-help guru on the planet says it, but it’s true. Happiness is built from within.

Success equals happiness

Though hitting goals and key targets can allow us to feel content and proud of what we’ve achieved, focussing all of your energy on the idea that securing a particular job or graduating university will make you happy only provides short-term satisfaction. Satisfaction that will probably dissipate in the event that you face an obstacle that means you cannot experience another big moment of success. Many things in life are purely out of the reams of our control, therefore it’s incredibly important that we savour the processes that happen every single day. Rather than just the occasions that give us those monumental highs!

You have to be self-sufficient all the time

Don’t get it twisted. Relying on yourself and becoming your own comfort blanket in times of adversity is vitally important- particularly because those around us will not always be around to help. Or even willing to. That being said, it’s virtually impossible to wholly independent 24-7. And it’s also counterproductive as we can’t benefit from the advice of others. With humans being social creatures, we thrive on the relationships and memories we share with those closest to us. In fact, many research studies have suggested that good social relationships are the strongest, most consistent predictors of a happy life. So the next time you’re considering braving a situation alone because you think you need to handle it on your own, remember that it’s okay to put a significant portion of your time towards building friendships and a better social life. Striking a great balance between self-sufficiency and utilising social relationships will give you a great start on the path to happiness.

Thanks for reading,

Adam

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Whatever You Grow, Will Save A Bro!

I’m a man and no less of a man for admitting ‘I’m not okay’ and for openly talking about the constant struggle and battle I face with myself every single day.

Joe Plumb

To begin, I’d like to share some important yet harrowing statistics. Men die on average 5 years earlier than women. 75% of suicides in the UK are male. Approximately one man every minute globally is lost to suicide. More than 1.4 million men worlwide are diagnosed with prostate cancer each year; 10.8 million are currently living with the illness. Testicular cancer is the most common cancer amongst men aged between 15 and 39. While I know that’s plenty of information to digest in such a short space of time, I’m sure we can both agree that’s all fairly shocking right? Whether you’re striving for a world where more men can speak about their mental health, and receive the approriate treatment, you’ve faced cancer yourself or you’re aiming for a world where more men can survive a diagnoses and live a meaningful, fulfilled life, there are so many ways you can support the movement that is revolutionsing the way we think and act on men’s health issues.

Now we know a small snippet of the huge problems men continue to face, I thought it’d be useful to discuss some of the biggest aims and projects that the Movember charity has created to address such problems. Since its inception in 2003, an idea that started over a quiet beer between founders Travis Garone and Luke Slattery in Melbourne, Australia, this ever-growing movement has funded over 1250 men’s health projects, recruited approximately 6.5 million ‘Mo bros and sisters’ and reached over 20 countries including the UK, USA, Spain, France, South Africa, Germany, Canada, Singapore and Hong Kong. Not bad for something that was thought up over an informal chat in a bar right? And the great thing is they’re only just getting started.

In doing what others are not, uniting leading experts, listening to communities and advocating for what men really want, we can look forward to a future where vital research is advanced and more men can access quality and appropriate treatment when necessary. We cannot afford to leave people behind!

Even amongst the huge challenges and serious dire consequences of the COVID-19 pandemic, whether that be physically, mentally, socially or financially, Movember maintained a relentless commitment to men’s health and announced the funding of 34 separate projects that will work to support the mental health and wellbeing of men and boys. Not only that- and arguably more importantly- they decided to launch a mass media ‘behaviour change’ campaign aimed at encouraging millions more young men to talk about their mental health.

As someone who’s struggled with anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts for a number of years now, almost on a daily basis, I can definitely see the huge positive strides we’ve taken across society in the way we view and treat mental health problems. However the fight is not over. Far from it in fact. Campaigns and projects like ones introduced by Movember, amongst other charities, are a giant step in the right direction though. The more we pull together and recognise the changes that need to be made, the better the lives of men/boys in the long term. It’s easy to sit there and think you can’t make a difference, probably because we often think only as individuals, however this charity is living proof of what can be achieved when we establish clear goals and a sense of community! No matter who you are or where you come from, you can get on board with this movement, or be impacted by the issues Movember seeks to reduce. And the great thing is you’re not alone in the battle! Alone we can do little; together we can do so much…

If you wish to donate to my personal or team fundraising page, laugh at my terrible attempt at growing a moustache, or simply find out more about the life-changing work Movember continues to achieve, please visit the links below. Oh, and why not grow a moustache yourself or take on a challenge of your own? You’ve nothing to lose! There are so many cool and inventive ways you can get involved!

Day 4 of 30

https://uk.movember.com/?home

https://uk.movember.com/mospace/14694811

https://uk.movember.com/team/2416562?fbclid=IwAR2QQqkVeKNRlL-pxw8GYyOrxcfEYhX7dCusc_oD5vWO7YtuhBoBWZBWel4

Thanks for reading,

Adam

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We’ve Got Big Plans…

A lot of people listen to podcasts because they want to learn something and be entertained along the way.

Alex Blumberg

It’s been on the horizon an awful long while but it looks like we’re nearly there! With my first year of university almost complete and a long summer awaiting us, I’m almost ready to ready to introduce the ‘Breaking The Stigma’ podcast. Although vastly different to how I first envisaged it, I’m happy to have 2 regular co-hosts on board in Katy and David- something I feel will hugely add to the value of this podcast. Particularly since the listeners will not only hear my thoughts but a range of opinions on so many different topics!

With this year’s Mental Health Awareness Week fast approaching, our plan is share the first episode in the lead-up to that. Not to give (too much) away, but we will be first launching this new podcast by sharing a little bit about each of ourselves, how we met and what those tuning in can expect from the content we produce in the future. Similar to all your favourite podcasts- for example Elizabeth Day, Jay Shetty, Dr Alex Geroge to name and recommend a few- our episodes will made available on all of the common platforms. Apple Podcasts. Google Play. Spotify. And if I’ve missed any key ones out, feel free to drop a message in the comments below! We want this podcast to be as effective as it possibly can be.

Once we’ve truly embedded ourselves as a partnership trio and got to grips with producing regular content, editing promotion and all that techonological business I undoubtedly will fail to understand for ages, the long-term aim is introduce some guests into the equation. Whether it be friends, family members, colleagues or even somebody famous that inspires us in our day-to-day lives, I speak for the 3 of us in saying it’ll be fantastic to feature some incredible stories and people in order to expand our horizons and the reach of this podcast.

While I’d be simply plain stupid or naive to not recognise the immense challenges of establishing and maintaining a podcast, or did not acknowledge that the world of podcasting has become an extremely condensed market with lots of people jostling for listeners and genuine engagement, a big part of me is enamoured by the challenge of making this a success against the odds and doing something I enjoy consistently with a few of my mates. Particularly given the difficulties each of us have faced and how much we’ve had to battle to get to where we are now. It’s been far from easy, therefore having a great podcast would be something to cherish and saviour. Something to be proud of!

I’m fully aware that we are very unlikely to rake in views from day one, gain thousands of subscribers in a matter of weeks or garner significant amounts of publicity on social media, however it’ll be nice for us three to get our opinions out into the world and hopefully help a few people along the way. Yes it’s definitely cliche, but achieving anything more than that is a massive bonus! We may be no psychology wizards/experts, yet that doesn’t mean we don’t have valuable experiences and teachings we can divulge with an audience. Things that people can take away. Lessons that others can draw upon and use to their advantage in their own lives. That’s the beauty of the world we live in. What works for me might not work for you and vice versa. That being said, the more topics we discuss, the more issues we debate and the more conversations we begin, the greater the likelihood that somebody out there listening will resonate with something said and use that small snippet of information or piece of advice to benefit their own life.

Even though it’s certainly true that the podcasting world is innundated with creators of many genres and backgrounds, our main focus first and foremost is to be authentic and do things the way we wish to do them. Rather than modelling it on this person or that specific podcast, we want the whole process to be organic and natural so the listeners can understand that this isn’t forced. It isn’t scripted. We aren’t doing it for clicks, for admiration or hopping on a ‘trend’. We’re just 3 mates with a passion for discussing mental health and making a difference to people’s lives. And that’s more than enough motivation don’t you think?

P.S. Stay tuned- news is coming very soon!

Thanks for reading,

Adam

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Mental Health Misconceptions

Just remember that sometimes, the way you think about a person isn’t the way they actually are.

John Green

Even in a current generation where discussions and understanding of mental health is better, and coverage is aplenty, it’s safe to say that the majority of people suffering with a mental illness will encounter some form of stigma, discrimination, stereotyping or negative interaction at one point or another in their lives. As someone who has experienced numerous misconceptions over the course of my life, I believe it’s important that we challenge negative attitudes and educate people around how to treat people suffering with mental illness. After all, it’s hard enough battling a debilitating mental health problem without other people making you feel guilty, weak or strange. Today I’ll be sharing some of the most common mental health misconceptions, with the aim of making more people aware of the damage certain words/action can do to others!

  1. All Schizophrenics are murderers/extremely violent

When a major event such as a school shooting or mass murder occurs, how often do you hear that the person committing such an atrocity ‘must have had a serious mental illness’ and be labelled as just another unhinged man/woman with a grudge who’s evil, hugely troubled and just another person to be cancelled from society? Now I don’t know about you but in my opinion it happens all too often. While I’m by no means condoning violent acts, my key point is that it’s extremely damaging to put people into boxes and generalise all people living with a particular condition like Schizophrenia as dangerous. All that does is lead to more stigma and problems for people facing mental health issues across society. The reality of mental health problems is that people are more often a risk to themselves than to other people.

2. Mental illness has become a ‘trend’

Due to what I predict is because of the nature of more frequent and honest conversations about mental health, some people may be jumping on the bandwagon that mental illness has blended into some sort of fashion statement or trend. That being said, I believe the only reason people are jumping to such negative conclusions is a result of a current generation which shows greater understanding and empathy to those facing such difficulties everyday. And that can only be a good thing. Yes stigma still exists amongst some, however the topic of mental health has been cast into the spotlight increasingly over recent years. The term trend only serves to put people off from talking about their emotions.

3. Those with mental health problems are unreliable and less capable

Although an illness such as depression, OCD or PTSD brings undeniable stresses, pressures and barriers to overcome, the mere notion that simply suffering with a condition like the ones listed above makes you clearly unreliable and less capable is both disgraceful and absurd. There may be days or certain times when a mental health problem makes it harder for someone to work or do particular tasks, however there are plenty of people out there who have enjoyed successful, fulfilled lives while dealing with a mental illness. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. Demi Lovato. Prince Harry. Cara Delevigne. There are just a few of endless amounts of people who have achieved unbelievable success despite encountering inner demons. It shouldn’t ever be a case of ‘writing some off’ just because they struggle mentally.

4. Recovery is a clear cut process

While there are undoubtedly people out there that have catapulted their lives from the peak of despair and rock bottom to happy, fruitful lives, it’s important for us to remember that reaching a stage of recovery doesn’t mean people are ‘cured’ of a mental health condition. There will be ups and downs. Successes and failures. People are very unlikely to go from struggling severely to experiencing no symptoms in a short space of time. Unlike many physical illnesses, there isn’t a set time period to recover. You can learn to manage a mental health condition, but it never disappears completely.

5. Suicide is selfish

While the after-effects of a suicide on friends, family members, work colleagues etc. can be absolutely devastating, it’s vital that we as a society recognise that the act of one taking their own life isn’t to hurt or cause pain to other people. When a person reaches a places of such mental unrest and suffering that they believe suicide is the only option available to them, shouldn’t we shift our thoughts and consider what may have contributed to them taking their life? I fully understand that grief does funny things to people, or that you may not have experienced suicidal thoughts yourself, but the only thing that shaming suicide victims achieves is creating more stigma and discouraging many people from speaking out. If you or anybody you know is feeling in a similar fashion, please seek professional support or confide in somebody you trust.

P.S. Check out my support page for a list of useful helplines and websites!

Stay safe.

Thanks for reading,

Adam

Adam Howard3 Comments

The Other Side To Mental Health

My dark days made me stronger. Or maybe I already was strong, and they made me prove it.

Emery Lord

When you think of the term mental health, what would be the thoughts, words or phrases that spring immediately to mind? Would I be right in thinking that a larger proportion of what pops into your head has negative connotations? Rather than the opposite and more positive images.

From my own experiences of mental health problems over the years, I have found myself to have to build this assumption (rightly or wrongly) because of the many interactions I have had with people. Though it is fantastic to see huge quantities of people providing great advice expertise and knowledge around how we can develop our mindsets to live better lives, whether it be through public speaking, books, podcasts or any other medium, I feel as though many people’s perception of mental health is wholly negative. While I’m by no means underestimating the difficulty and strain that a mental illness can have on so many areas of people’s lives, especially due to my own ongoing struggles, the engagements I’ve had with various people have led me to believe that all many associate mental health with is mental illness. They forget that everybody has mental health. That our mental wellbeing can be good as well as bad. That if we are struggling and going through testing times, it doesn’t have to be that way forever. It’s not as simple as she has a mental health problem, therefore she’ll always be that way. Discussions around mental illness and reducing its stimga are paramount, absolutely, yet so are the conversations around improving our wellbeing and how that can be of huge benefit.

Especially when it takes so much courage to express your most personal emotions and show signs of vulnerability, part of me wishes that more people recognised the fact that I don’t feel depressed or anxious 100% of the time. Yes I may be diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and your friend may be battling OCD or your work colleague PTSD, but this doesn’t reflect and constitute our entire make-up/ personality. We are people in our right. A mental illness doesn’t define me or my existence. Or anybody elses. As much as you think it might if you haven’t gone through anything similar.

The people around me know I have my periods of low mood, heightened anxiety, self-doubt and numerous other things, but they also know the person that’s constantly taking the piss, saying weird things, enjoying my favourite activities and standing up for what I truly believe in. I probably do cry more than the average man (better out than in), yet I can assure you that I don’t feel that emotional 24-7-365. That would be a painful life. Like everybody, my life has its high and lows. Successes and failures. The problem is we can’t see everything that goes on behind closed doors!

The main point I’m trying to convey from this post is that we should separate a person from their illness. If someone was fighting cancer, heart disease or any type of physical illness, the chances are that it wouldn’t even cross your mind to label a person as just somebody with that certain illness. Because that would be strange and unfair. Correct?

That being said, it seems to have become so normalised for people to say ‘he’s that schizophrenic guy’ or ‘she’s the girl with anorexia’. Battling your own mind every single day is harder than anybody could imagine, so isn’t it time we show people the compassion they thoroughly deserve and end this continous pigeonholing and putting people into boxes. It’s dangerous. So dangerous. I fully understand that labels can be used to describe people, but often all they serve to do is perpepuate negative stereotypes and make people feel like a mental illness is all they are. And all they’ll ever be; a life sentence if you will. And that they can’t achieve their aspirations or the same things other people can as they’re incapable.

Disclaimer: This certainly isn’t true and never will be. A mental health problem may bring plenty of barriers/obstacles to overcome, however with the right commitment, determination and encouragement, there’s no reason why we cannot get where we wish to be.

Wouldn’t it be such an amazing feeling to prove the doubters wrong and show that you can get that dream job or the degree they said you couldn’t? And also to prove it to yourself!

Thanks for reading,

Adam

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Living And Dealing With Attachment Issues

Part of me is afraid to get close to people because I’m afraid that they’re going to leave.

Marilyn Monroe

Going through life, how many of us would say that our relationships and the way we interact with others is something we hugely value and place significant importance on? Now correct me if I’m wrong, but my instinct is telling me that this area of life is massively crucial in maintaining good mental health and allowing us to feel fulfilled. After all, if we experience good and bad times (as most people do), it’s only natural that we’ll want other people to come along on that ride too. To celebrate and support us. Am I right?

When each and every one of us is born and brought in the world, it’s obviously impossible for us to fend for ourselves, therefore we become attached and forced to rely on our parents/caregivers to nurture us and aid our development. During the first few years of our life, most children will experience the feeling of being fed, being washed, being clothed, being walked and being protected- until the time comes that we can do this ourselves. While you would hope that EVERY child deserves and subsequently receives such an upbringing, the stark reality is that many children out there are not given a sufficient amount of love, care and support throughout their childhood. And when a child lacks these key elements, or possibly experiences a form of trauma or difficult life event, it’s common for them to express symptoms of attachment later on in life.

Although I’m by no means saying that love or strong human interaction isn’t necessary or beneficial, I believe that my own experiences of getting attached to others and feeling a strong sense of neediness have taught me that there are fine margins between having healthy relationships and relying too much on others to make us feel happy and content. From the moment I was born on 11th February 2000 to where I am now, I’d be lying if I said my family haven’t showed me consistent love and support, however that’s the strange thing about attachment. While it may be true that a lack of quality parenting (as I mentioned) sometimes contributes to major attachment issues in adulthood, my experiences have been caused by factors unbeknownst to me. Every person’s experience is obviously unique to them!

In recent years, I have been fortunate enough to meet plenty of inspirational people and make a number of great friends along the way, however that has coincided with me feeling often on edge and that I have to try almost too hard to maintain their interest and strengthen the friendship. The friends I now have may be kind, understanding and compassionate (more than I could wish for), yet it’s frustrating how my mind persistently convinces me that I simply HAVE to put in such an amount of effort that most people would consider overbearing and annoying. That I have to message somebody again when they ‘leave me on read’ because my anxiety and curiosity gets the better of me. That I have to check that I haven’t annoyed or upset them 57 million times. That I feel frustrated and pissed off at the world when certain interactions with people don’t go to plan. If I’m being brutally honest, it’s a cycle that regularly feels near impossible to break.

Although I must say that I know in the moment that I could make a situation worse, or push somebody away, I find it extremely difficult to refrain from acting impulsively and take a step back.To reflect and weigh up the best solution. I’m definitely a case of someone who wants to put situations to bed quickly- especially if they’re playing on my mind constantly and affecting my mood! Though this can be a good thing and allow a swift resolution to some situations, the big problem is that trying to ‘nip things in the bud’ early can lead to greater heartache and mental torture. And even if I do feel close to somebody in the moment, it’s undoubtedly a short-term fix to a long term, deep-rooted psychological problem.

I have often preached on my website and through my work campaigning the importance of working on ourselves, nevertheless I do know that I struggle to take my own advice sometimes. It’s brilliant that I have such supportive friends and areas of my life that I can be proud of, yet my own experiences, as well as many other people’s, have proved that we are in charge of our own happiness, our own destiny. It’s impossible for anybody else to magically create the dream life for me/you.

Attachment may be something that many people struggle with, but it doesn’t have to rule over our lives or be something to feel ashamed of. As debilitating and difficult my experiences have been, and are still, I do want a life where I could express such emotions in an environment where I feel understood and heard. Where my mind doesn’t allow me to run away with itself to the point of self-destruction and no return. Where my I can manage my emotions in a healthy manner and wrestle back some sort of self-control. The last thing I want is to be a prisoner of my own mind.

With all the extra time we have now due to the COVID-19 lockdown, I do feel as though that I’ve ruminated too frequently and therefore latched onto other people often as means of providing myself with comfort, stability and support. That being said, as we move forward and restrictions ease, one of my biggest priorities will be to maintain a better routine in my life, work on challenging certain negative thoughts and be open about these experiences more often.

There’ll be so many others going through similar things to me, and I hope that by sharing this, it may give someone out there the encouragement they need to do the same. There should NEVER be any shame for talking about what’s going on in your mind! Attachment is a topic no where near discussed enough….

Thanks for reading,

Adam

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Mental Health Q&A: Abbie’s Story

Just start.There’s boldness in beginning. Make progress over perfection. Everything is figure-out-able.

Alisa Vitti
  1. Tell me a bit about yourself….

Hey Adam! Sure, I can share a little bit about me. I’m Abbie, I’m 20 years old and I live pretty much smack bang in the middle of England. I am very fortunate to have the beautiful Peak District right on my doorstep! The outdoors is something I absolutely love, and it’s vital to maintaining my mental wellbeing. I’d say Dancing must be my main hobby as I have been doing it pretty much as long as I have been able to walk. Although, who knows, maybe baby Abbie was striking poses in a seated position before that!

2. What is your diagnosis; how does it make you feel?

Hmmm an interesting question with a complicated answer… here goes. Last year I was diagnosed with acute Anorexia Nervosa. Prior to that and persisting throughout, I live with anxiety and depression. The diagnosis of Anorexia was a day that I, nor anyone close to me, could have ever anticipated. Not me, I have always loved food, had a more than substantial appetite, and have a lifelong love affair with baking. I have certainly never been concerned with my weight. Unfortunately, these factors mean nothing when faced with this deadly mental illness. If anything, they may even help to drive it. How I feel about it, I’m not sure. Accepting my diagnosis allowed me to begin the first phase of my recovery. For that I am truly grateful!

3. Have you ever experienced mental health related stigma and discrimination?

I cannot say that I have confronted any intentional discrimination. However, I have definitely experienced a lack of understanding and assumptions due to common misconceptions. There is an idea that all those suffering with Anorexia fall into a certain category, which is simply not the case. I don’t think I’d be incorrect in saying that the general consensus around Anorexia is that it appears in underweight teenage girls trying to conform to ‘model-like’ expectations. This illness impacts both men and women of all ages and those suffering may not be underweight- although unfortunately this is a common side effect. Food restriction is mostly due to cognitive and emotional triggers, not necessarily a desire to be thin. Here are some of the rather ‘interesting’ questions I’ve been asked before:

Don’t you not get hungry? Do you not like food? Why would you want to be that skinny?

My answers? Yes, I am bloody starving! I absolutely love food with a passion, it is a problem. I don’t want to be this skinny, but it is really not that simple.

4. Is there any particular conversation with someone about your mental health you’ve had that’s really helped?

Oooh tough question! Over the last 2 years I have learnt a great deal about myself, mental health, and I have had the pleasure of meeting many incredible, inspiring individuals. During my stay in hospital I met some of the strongest, bravest, most resilient people I’ll ever know, many of who are now friends for life. I truly could not be where I am today without all their love, encouragement and support. Although I couldn’t pinpoint one moment, I must say that I always felt listened to, understood and not judged. It is remarkable how they could pick me up when I was down despite their own struggles.

5. What’s one thing you wish people knew about your illness?

It’s not as simple as ‘just eat’! There is a huge amount of rehabilitation and neural rewiring involved in recovery from Anorexia and weight restoration may only be one part of that journey. Just because I may look healthy on the outside it by no means proves that I am recovered. Please remember that Anorexia, along with all eating disorders, is a mental illness and its impacts on the physical body are simply side effects.

6. What’s the biggest problem in mental health and how can we improve it moving forward?

Definitely the lack of awareness and understanding. It is vital that we can educate the population and reduce the stigma as much as possible. Mental illness is not weakness and it takes a huge amount of courage to share how we feel on the inside and even greater strength to even understand it ourselves. If we can remove the judgement and encourage compassion, we have the potential to save thousands of lives. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness and a massive feature of them is secrecy. Without the fear of scrutiny and misunderstanding this could reduce. I feel that mental health awareness should be taught alongside mindfulness from a young age, in the same way we teach about physical health and wellbeing. Mental wellbeing is not simple, and it takes practice and experimentation, just like anything else. If we support and educate children from a young age, we might aid a more open minded, benevolent future population.

P.S. Thank you so much for speaking with me Adam- and for listening to my story. Keep doing what you are doing, spreading awareness, and encouraging others.

Keep safe everyone and remember to be kind to yourselves ALWAYS!

Abbie x

https://greetingsmind.wordpress.com/

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UK National Volunteers’ Week 2020

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Winston Churchill

But what do you get out of it? Surely it’s just a waste of time no? Wouldn’t it be better to get paid for doing something you enjoy? You can’t be doing this all your life (they say in a patronising, condescending tone). While the statistics clearly show that the current generation of people are spending more of their time volunteering than ever before, providing valuable support and huge kindness to various industries like healthcare and education, it must be said that the negative statements listed above are still very much commonplace for many people invested in the voluntary sector. I myself have received similar criticism, therefore I wanted to highlight the benefits that being involved in such activities can bring. Whoever you are or whatever you’re interested in.

When I first encountered the volunteer world back in March 2017, I was certainly at a crossroads in my life. With a lack of direction and no idea how I wanted to progress, I came across an organisation called URPotential in Blackpool. Providing support to local people via community groups, classes and teaching people valuable skills like the use of IT for job-hunting, I firmly enjoyed the aspect of meeting new people (both staff and people coming in) and gaining an insight into some of the great things they did as an organisation to make a difference, help others and give people’s lives a genuine, much needed and deserved boost. For the first time in a while, I felt a sense of passion and belonging. And all that was down to the power of voluntary work.

In the months prior to starting here, I was suffering from severe bouts of depression, increasing levels of anxiety and various other things, however just by getting involved in URPotential I noticed a significant change in my moods and behaviours. Had I shied away from this opportunity, it is quiet possible that the experiences I had to come would never have happened. Yes I was extremely nervous going in, yet the structure and routine it provided me set me on a path that I could work from. No fancy, lavish pay check was needed for that.

Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.

James Matthew Barrie

Having finished my role as a volunteer at URPotential in early 2017, to begin a traineeship at college, it wasn’t until March 2018 when my next stint as a volunteer could come about. If you’ve been a reader of my blogs for a long period of time, you’ll probably have seen my previous posts about the Time to Change movement and Mind. As I look back at beginning my campaigning in the mental health sector roughly 2 years on now, I’d have to say that it has produced some of the most rewarding, incredible experiences I’ve ever had. And for that I feel very fortunate and privileged. I certainly didn’t envisage standing up in front of large audiences sharing my mental health story, doing events nationwide or being invited to do radio interviews etc. Not in a million years did I believe I’d develop the confidence to do such things!

While the notion of helping and making a difference to other people’s lives through these sort of activities is a fantastic achievement, the sense of enrichment and fulfillment it gives to you personally is the icing on the cake. You may step into volunteering with the idea of keeping busy, having structure and possibly helping a few people along the way, however the biggest surprise to me was just how brilliant it felt to make a difference to others, and the fact it helped me fight my own demons hugely too. It can be very easy to suppress rather than express our emotions when life becomes challenging, yet through volunteering I realised just how valuable storytelling and being open with my feelings has been. And the outcome could be the same for you!

Although it’s distinctly possible that you may encounter critics (as I mentioned at the start), the important thing to remember is that you should do what is best for your own development. Not what is expected of or what somebody else wants- that will only leave you feeling restricted and resentful. Whether you want to help on the frontline during the lockdown, support the elderly by buying food supplies, or perhaps become a listener on a mental health helpline, I’d 100% encourage you to get involved.

After all what’s the harm in trying? The chances are that you’ll enjoy it way more than you first imagined, and meet plenty of inspirational people along the way. My experiences are testament to that!

Visit the links below for more details 🙂

https://volunteeringmatters.org.uk/

https://do-it.org/

Thanks for reading,

Adam

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The Bigger Picture

Seeing the bigger picture opens your eyes to what is the truth.

Wadada Leo Smith

While we now live in a current generation where discussions around mental health are on the increase, and general knowledge of the topic seems to be growing, nobody could argue that we as a society still have an awful long way to go in tackling negative attitudes and ensuring everybody with a mental health problem is treated fairly and equally. That they don’t feel shame and that the people around them won’t act as though they are strange, different or anything else. After all everybody is unique and surely we should embrace this! How boring would it be if we were all the same?

Particularly in the case of depression and anxiety, whereby diagnosis and coverage is more frequent, more people are understanding the impacts they have on people’s lives. That being said, if I were to explore the issues facing people with OCD, Bipolar, Schizophrenia, Borderline Personality Disorder and a whole range of other mental health problems, the chances are that the overall level of empathy and understanding given to people with these ‘labels’ would dramatically decrease. The question is: why could this be the case?

With an estimated 1 in 6 adults having experienced a common mental health disorder such as depression or anxiety in the last week alone, approximately 2% of the general population are estimated to suffering with OCD and less than 1% with BPD, therefore it is likely that the media coverage around mental health and the subsequent opinions people acquire are reflected by the statistics. Because conditions like BPD are often far less common,the spotlight they receive and the experiences people endure are often left hidden behind closed doors. And what good is that doing? Even when they are given a shred of thought, sometimes all we are made to see is the stigmatising, negative and sheer ignorant headlines.’The Schizophrenic murderer strikes again’. ‘There’s nothing more to OCD hand-washing’. ‘Man with Bipolar goes off the rails’. Not the stories of hope, people battling adversity or perhaps those who have used their hardship to make a positive difference to others!

So much of what we read and consume via by the media and other forms sticks us like glue, so I would argue it’s incredibly important that people going emotional turmoil such as these conditions are not tarred with the same brush and portrayed as people that are abnormal or should be punished. No matter who are you are or whatever mental health problem you face, you shouldn’t have to experience the added stress of others beating you down or making you feel inhuman or unworthy. Yes you may have an illness, yes it is painful, however you’re just as capable as anybody else.

The opinions of many around schizophrenia are associated with extreme violence and harm, and bipolar with persistent mood swings, therefore it’s paramount that we re-consider stereotypes and acknowledge how a certain word, statement or action may make a person feel. A certain phrase may roll off the tongue so easy you didn’t realise you’d even said it, however that doesn’t mean your actions won’t hurt or have long-term repercussions. Having an illness, especially one that very few people understand, is hard enough to deal with without a critical comment or someone making them feel guilty for how they are. As the old saying goes: ‘Every action has a reaction.’

Having a mental health problem may be part of somebody’s story, but it does not define them or make up their whole personality. If you were in a position where life was getting too much, how would you wish to be treated? Take a moment to think and look at the bigger picture…..

Should anybody reading this be experiencing similar issues to the ones explored above, or is possibly wanting to listen to other people’s experiences, I urge you to check out the brilliant new campaign brought out by Time to Change via the link and video below. Though I appreciate that progress can be slow-going, my hope is that blogs such as this and the brilliant campaigns going on globally will provide the lesser discussed mental health conditions with the conversations and support they so thoroughly deserve and require. Nobody should be left behind or made to feel as though their troubles aren’t complex enough!

https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/biggerpicture

Thanks for reading,

Adam

Adam HowardLeave a comment

People Who INSPIRE Me

Make your life a masterpiece; imagine no limitations on what you can be, have or do.

Brian Tracy

In times such as this, whereby life is moving at a snail’s place and has seemingly ground to a halt, who could blame us for feeling fatigued and sapped of motivation to do practically anything. If this sounds like you, maybe what you require is a source of inspiration to ‘pick you up’ and enable you to battle through this testing time. Today I’m going to provide a short list of people who have really inspired me at one point or another, hopefully of which could be some benefit to you too.

  1. Jay Shetty

Born and raised in London, Shetty is a former monk turned award-winning storyteller, motivational speaker, YouTuber and Podcaster with a clear goal of using his voice, content and experiences to share his wisdom and provide people with the tools to transform their life in a way they never thought possible. Responsible for the highest viewed Facebook video in 2018, the Brit has also made guest appearances on the ‘Ellen Show’ and ‘The Today Show’, written his own book called ‘Think Like a Monk’ and amassed over 4 billion views on social media! With a whole range of content on topics such as mental health, purpose, relationships and self-worth, Shetty is sure to deliver something for everybody. But don’t just take my word for it!

https://jayshetty.me/

2. Ben Stokes

Following a final disastrous final over in the World T20 final defeat vs West Indies in 2016, not to mention a very public charge of affray roughly 18 months later (in which he was found not guilty), you’d be forgiven for thinking that this was the end of a young cricketer’s very bright future. That the mental torture of on-field failure and off-field misdemeanors would be too difficult to come back from. While for many this would be undoubtedly true, the summer of 2019 only a matter of years later proved to be the pinnacle of Stokes’ burgeoning career. In a tournament where England clinched the 50 over Cricket World Cup for the first time in an astonishing, nail-biting final against New Zealand at Lord’s, the Durham man showed nerves of steel scoring 84 not out and taking England to victory from the jaws of defeat. Add to this an incredible earlier part of the World Cup where he scored 4 crucial fifties and took an incredible catch against South Africa, it is clear to see that without the impact of Stokes England may not have clinched the title. In the ensuing Ashes series that followed, one of Sport’s most fiercest rivalries, his incredible innings of 135 not out at Leeds almost single-handedly snatched victory from Australian hands in the most unlikely of circumstances. Though the 5 match series end in a 2-2 draw, the sporting world was once again reminded just how extraordinary and ice cool under pressure a sportsman Stokes is. Rewarded for his performances, his year was completed with the 2019 BBC Sports Personality of the Year award and showed just how much his public image had improved since his previous mistakes. In my eyes, Stokes is testament to the theory that whatever happens, you can come back stronger if you are determined and work hard.

3. Frank Bruno

Though the lesser admired and recognised British heavyweight of his era due to the achievements of his once rival Lennox Lewis, the 58 year-old Londoner reached his own pinnacle by defeating American Oliver McCall at Wembley Stadium in September 1995 to clinch the WBC World Heavyweight title. Despite 3 previous failed attempts at winning a coveted world heavyweight championship, his tireless determination and drive to achieve his lifelong dream meant he would claim a brilliant victory at the fourth time of asking and retire as one of Britain’s most loved boxers. Following a later diagnosis of Bipolar disorder and extensive negative comments made by those in the press, Bruno has become an incredible spokesman for the mental health community through sharing his experiences and encouraging others to speak out and not feel ashamed. A truly inspiring man who has overcome much adversity! Check out his foundation via the link below:

https://www.thefrankbrunofoundation.co.uk/

If anybody reading this has their own suggestions of who they found inspiring, feel free to let me know in the comments below. I’d love to find other people with brilliant stories!

P.S. I hope everybody is coping well during lockdown, stay safe!

Thanks for reading,

Adam

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